The Monster Under The Bed

I saw a most interesting statistic last night. According to "Unexplained Mysteries," 98.5% of all alien abductions happen at night. I knew it! I knew it! Ever since I was a little boy I knew that the monsters came out at night.

The ones that lived under my bed were only there at night. In the daytime I never had any problem with them, but at night, at night they crawled around under my bed just waiting for me, or if I could talk him into going first, my brother to step to the floor. Then some monster would reach out from under the bed and grab a leg and that would be the end.

I am sure mom must have wondered what the noise was when we leaped from the bed toward the door so our leg wouldn’t come down in reach of those ugly villains under the bed.

Even today, the aliens are only out at night. The room next to my office in the church is the youth room. They have a big cutout of Darth Vader over by the window. Sometime back someone put a large curly wig on Darth. I was going down the hall at night with all the lights off. Just enough light was coming through the window to let me know a very big person with a large curly hairdo was in the youth room.

After I got my breath back I thought how it would have looked the next morning to find a middle aged Pastor dead from a heart attack laying on the floor outside the youth room. But it wouldn’t have been so unusual. Killed by an alien, at night, of course.

May all your alien contacts happen in daylight. You are safer that way.